Thursday, April 15, 2010

I Kissed A Boy...

4/15/2010 11:49:00 PM

I'm still under shock. A lot had happened, and I still need to process everything which happened today... I just come back into my house and I'm still in shock... :)

It didn't happen on cinema date, and yeah, it's obvious, it's V. OK I will tell you everything shortly, well, shortly as I can, and sorry cause there is no pictures, I really can't put them now, I'm so excited :-)...

We went to the cinema two days ago, and the movie wasn't that good. I, as Greek mythology geek, didn't like it... We were watching "Clash of the Titans". I expected more, honestly. It was okay and effects were amazing, but still, it wasn't that good, and to be honest I was next to him and I was thinking of doing something and I was waiting in the same moment that he do something. But nothing happened, well, we were "different" guys in the full cinema, so nothing could happen expect some touch and that kind of things... So nothing happened that day and later when we went back home, we had some flirty texting and messages, and it really was good. Tomorrow (yesterday), we didn't saw each other but we were texting each other, and cause I'm this week home alone from 12 PM until 4 PM (cause my parents were working this week in different times and I was alone for about 4 hours, father works from 1PM until 8PM and mom from 8AM until 3PM), and it was somewhere about 3:30 PM and I told him as a joke to come fast, we have 30 minutes left :) (cause my mom returns somewhere around 4 PM), but it was only joke... And then, I really invited him to come tomorrow (well, it wasn't that direct, but I really can't explain how it happened, but this is the point), which is today. Then, I had some drinking party with my best friends in the evening, but that part isn't that important, things went out of control and the evening ended around 3 AM, and I didn't drink that much, which was good, cause I get fully sober in the morning and I was ready for arrival of V.

He came exactly around 12 PM, shortly after my dad went out of house. V. was in my house and we were talking and talking and talking and then we came to some awkward part with some flirting and I was kinda really, well, not confused, but I felt kinda weird, cause I knew it that we are going to kiss each other, but I'm the one who never knows when is THE moment, you know, but he was like: "Let's do it now!" and we simply come closer to each other and kissed on my couch, in my own living room. At first, it was weird, but it felt so GOOD! And then we were coddling and he was making fun of me, cause my heart was beating like crazy, cause I was really excited and maybe scared and feeling weird. But I WASN'T confused!!! I wanted this, I wanted to kiss him, and I wanted to coddle with him... And I don't know exactly how much time have passed, but, I didn't care, and I know that it wasn't too long, cause shortly after that we went to my room...

Later, we went to my room, on my OWN bed and we were making out! It was so hot! He was so hot! He was so relaxed! He throw me on the bed and lay down on me and kissed me. And that felt even better than AMAZING! I don't know how to say it, but you'll get the point. He was really gentle and slow, cause he knew that it was my first time kissing some man. It was really weird at the beginning but I get used to it really fast and relaxed. We took our shirts off and we were making out half naked...

Then, somewhere around 3 PM we finished, dressed ourselves and went out of the house, cause I was meeting with some girl friend around 6 PM... And then the stuffs went back to normal... We were "just" friends on the street. No one could tell that we were kissing each other only 5 minutes ago. And I was bit scared because of the neighbours, because of the windows, but I didn't care later. I decided that I won't be paranoid...

We went to the city, downtown and we were hanging out in some cafe, he was making me company, while I was waiting a friend to finish with classes. He was so sweet and tired, cause he was studying a lot last night and he woke up early to come at my place. He was so cute. We were eating and drinking and later we separated, by hand shake, a bit longer then usual and with some endearment :-)

And I met my friend, and she was talking and talking and talking, cause she's really talkative and we didn't see each other in very long time, but I didn't listen to her so carefully... I was somewhere else! In the clouds...

I went back home, and while traveling, I wrote a message to Alex (and remember, V. knows that I had some conversation with Alex) and I told him honestly that SOMETHING happened and that I will probably continue with that and that I will see him (if I see him) only as friends, without expectations and false hope, and that I'm only doing this because I promised him, and he was like: "You are doing this only if you wish this, not for me" and we decided that we won't meet tomorrow, and he later told me that I'm okay and nice and he really appreciate that I told him honestly this and I really wanted to be honest, cause I don't want to fool around, when I'm now in the beginning of a relationship (I think :P I didn't talk about that part with V.), but Alex was okay with it and then I told V. that I "don't have a date" with Alex... and now.... I'm writing this post and talking on the phone with May :-)

Interesting day, no doubt that... Am I in dream? And to be honest one more time, this day was better then any fantasy I have ever had... He's perfect! We were doing all the stuffs I and he liked, with all that hugging and kissing nipples and with poses and cuddling and ... I'm still really excited... :)))))) and happy!

He just wished me good night :-)... And it's really late and I need to go... OMG!

About the author

Secret Blogger is writing about his life, living as a gay guy in a homophobic society.


  1. Woah! I can totally feel your excitement. :-D Go you!! I take it you'll be seeing a lot more of V (pun intended)?

  2. That weird feeling is when you are super horny! I'm so happy for you. You kissed a guy you liked and you knew it was right; no confusion. Its so funny that you guys are working around your parent's schedule so you can make out. No one appreciates the difficulty young people have trying to get private time. And people are sooooo nosy about other people's personal lives. Young guys need some sexual excitement to make up for the drudgery and boredom of school. When you finally confirm and accept your sexuality, you need to come up with a long-term plan for your family and friends. For example, would it be best to wait until your education is complete and you are financially secure before coming out? Would you be able to come out at all in your part of the world? (In the meantime you could say you are living with a 'room-mate') Anyway, I'm glad you are discovering and enjoying your sexuality; never feel shame or guilt about being true to yourself! Be proud. bfn - Wayne :)

  3. Hahaha...awesome!! Everything is going so great for you two!!

    The part about where u guys hd to carefully analyze when to meet was funny!

  4. I was smiling the whole time while reading this! Im glad that it went so well for you. It sounds like an awesome first experience with kissing a guy. I hope a relationship progresses out of it. :) It sounds like he makes your heart skip a beat.

  5. @Aek: Haha, well, I think that I saw a lot yesterday and felt a lot, but you are right, I know :)

    @wayner: Something happened on that drinking game and I almost snapped, but for now, even though I'm sure, well, I'm experiencing my sexuality, I won't do anything, cause my parents won't understand that and my friends need to grow up more :) But I think that coming out is invetible...

    @Phunk Factor: LOL, thanks... and I know about this organization... It is funny, but still, it must be like that... at least for now, he's moving in his own apartment in the end of June :) and if we last that much... :))))))

    @Konrad: :)))))) Yeah, HE does! Wow, HE... nice... OMG :P


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