Sunday, February 28, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
I really appreciate you asking me questions, I feel liberated and able to open myself more, I feel that I'm really becoming honest and finally my blog is getting some amazing and the most important touch...
So, I will not ignore your “question”, I will publish some facts about me, 12 facts. So here we go...
1. I’m 187 cm tall, which is about 6 feet, and I think 2 or 3 inches, I don’t really know to convert that right now and my calculator is far far away :)
2. My weight is about 75 kg (you do the conversion), which is a bit skinny, but I plan to gain 3-5 kg more with changing diet and with all these exercises I’m doing right now.
3. I love to ride my bike, it’s the most amazing thing in the world :) and I would really like to compete one day in triathlon, cause I love swimming and running, too. The best combination of my favourite sports. I can't wait to get warmer and I can’t wait for spring to come (only one more month yay), I hate winter.
4. I'm very good at swimming, I even trained water-polo and trainer proposed me to start with swimming, cause I had nice time when we were measuring the time for swimming across the pool. I really don’t know why I didn’t, but never mind now, it’s too late, I can enjoy swimming whenever I want, I don’t need to worry about Phelps and others :D
5. It is really difficult for me to curse in my own, native, mother tongue language, I don't know why, while I don't have problems with English for example... I only curse when I’m really really pissed off, but that’s kinda rare, so I don’t swear at all :) lol
6. I hate smoking, and I really can't stand the smell of cigarettes, but I’m used to it, cause major of my friends are smokers, unfortunately.
7. My favourite colours are blue and white.
8. I'm bit perfectionist, I can’t really explain, but I tend to make and keep things perfect sometimes, which is, I think, bad sometimes.
9. Basically (well, better said politically) I'm fluent in... let me see... 5 languages and I'm learning one more right now, and I kinda can understand bit of Spanish and French... So, basically I will know about 8 languages, lol… I also plan to learn Spanish and French bit more in the near future.
10. I cannot sing, I cannot act, I'm very shy person sometimes... :)
11. I’m very optimistic person now, and to be honest, I wasn’t like that 2-3 years ago.
12. I’m very social person, maybe that’s why I’m so scared of coming out. I don’t want to lose my friends. And yeah yeah, I know, if they can’t accept me of what I really am, they aren’t my REAL friends, but still, I will leave things as they are right now and think later about that. First things first, take care of what can be done now before worrying too long over what might never be. So, for now, school and financial independency at first and later coming out to everybody…
That's all for today, folks :)
Thanks for reading!
P.S. I will answer ANY question, no matter what you ask, but please be patient while waiting for your answer, and don’t ask one question twice, I don’t want to abuse and to be boring with posts which will contain only question and few lines of text. I’m also answering in some order and with some time interval between Q&A posts, I mean, I answer the question which is asked first, I won’t skip, so I repeat one more time, please be patient. I will answer ANY question you ask, don't worry :) :D
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
It was very hard for me. Like I always liked boys, but didn't know what it meant, cause I was raised to understand that gay/bisexual/"different" is not so normal and in some way very bad. So first, I needed to concur that thought and then I needed to accept myself... That's why it took me for about 2 years. Also, after "coming out to myself" I come out to my best friend, like 20 days later. I've came out to myself on 2nd May 2007, and I came out to my friend around 21st of May (I don't know exactly when, but my diary does, and I will tell you later when I finish the post about accepting)... Exactly, I knew that I was "different" a long time, but I admitted and actually said it (write it in diary) on May 2nd, and I said it aloud on May 21 or something.
And after one year of „coming out“ I opened this blog, for exactly one year anniversary :)
Thanks for asking! :)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
1. I was thinking a lot about this before. I'm studying some interesting but very tricky University (I really love it, but it's tricky cause it doesn't have some sure perspective considering future, in few words, I will find job very hard). It's University considering arts. I love writing and photography, and that two are my life dreams. I would like to become writer and also, I'm great fan of photography, so I would like to become a photographer, too, but it will be only my hobby or even my profession, I don't really know, I would really like both.
I always loved to take pictures of everything, but never had a chance to hold some professional camera and to really learn something professionally about photography. I always had some crappy cameras, but I experimented a lot with them, and I'm great with Photoshop. I even have account on deviantART.com and a few amateur shots (with crappy 3.1 megapixel camera lol) and some digital art pictures, but it really came out amazing... Now, after buying this amazing laptop, I'm saving to buy my first real professional camera (I can't wait to hold it in my hands)... So, I'm focusing on that hobby and to my University and literature (reading, writing). I also love to write, and others says that I'm really good at writing (of course, on my mother tongue :P), so maybe one day you will hear about me (lol) :P... One more reason to perfect my English, cause I would like to write in English, too...
So, all in all, I see myself living in New York, in some amazing flat, with my own studio, taking pictures for living or living somewhere in Tokyo or Europe or on some deserted island and writing books (and this blog :) ) or taking amazing art pictures by traveling the world...
That's my dream, and I will do my best to make it true.
2. Superpower? I love this type of questions. Like a child, I was thinking a lot about this, but we played a game with three powers, not one, it's not fair :( Well, my favorite ones are immortality, invisibility, stopping time and flying through time. Oh oh, and yeah, reading minds. But if you really force me to choose only one, I think that I will choose probably immortality. It's maybe selfish and not so unusual, but I'm honest. With that I could do almost anything, and of course, I would like to remain young. I like every single human being is of course afraid of death and with this I will get time. I mean, even if I'm 19 years old, I kinda feel old and don't know exactly why and it seems to me that 30s will come very fast and I don't want that. And if I get bored of living forever, well, I will think about that part when it comes LOL, kidding. Well, that's probably disadvantage of immortality. Maybe the best power is to stay what you really are and enjoy life which is given to you.
OK, thanks for asking... I'm off to start writing post for third 'Ask Me Anything' question :)
Monday, February 15, 2010
"Here's number, as promised, please don't abuse it and don't call all the time, I'm not so into talking to still unknown persons, we can just text for now... :)"
"OK, I'm not a jerk, don't worry. And what's your name?"
Sunday, February 14, 2010
OK, my family (and major part of this society) is very old fashioned and very (I wouldn't say 'antigay' more 'not familiar with the term') but they wouldn't understand that (I mean on homosexuality). They think that homosexuality is not normal and it's bad (probably cause the gay stereotype is not so good presented in the world and in my country, with all that Gay Pride and all that HIV transmission between gay people, and no one sees the fact that the 'normal' people can also transmits HIV, for them the gays are the major reason of HIV transmission). Because of that old-fashion I said I will never come out to them... And I like the fact that homosexuality is more present in media, in movies, in series, so they're slowly accepting the fact that the homosexuality is really here and that we are living in 21st century, and the most people are living fine by being the "different"... So, I'm hoping that some views will change, but it's really hard... It's not so conservative, I don't know how to explain exactly...
LOL, I just remembered the fact that Ancients Greeks were very open minded considering homosexuality. I mean, it was normal for them to be able to love someone who is same gender and kinda considered normal for great leaders to find boy lovers. „Only man knows what man wants“ or something like that, you'll get the point :P OMG, sounds amazing, and they lived between 8th and 2nd century BC and we live in 21st and have problems accepting this.
I'm Christian (but not Catholic), and yeah Church has a lot against gays and "different" people cause it's "not natural" and all that bullshits which all religions are saying. My family and I are also very religious (meaning that we believe in God), but my religion is not so fundamental... I can even say that it's really liberal and opened. I mean, in the catholic church you have a lot of "must" and "must not" which I do not approve (like, you MUST go to church every Sunday, you must not have sex before marrying, you must not have sexual relations with another man. Why? God gave us freedom and I will and can do whatever I want, as long as I don't harm the other people). In my religion there is some customs and traditions, and me and my family respect that, but it's not so strict. I mean on respecting and celebrating Christmas, Easter, some Saints, follow the path of God's will etc. You're not obligated to go to the church, you can go by your own will if you want and when you want.
Our church doesn't approve gays (that's official, they even stand out against some law considering gays when the Parliament were voting for 'no discrimination toward gays and/or "different" people'. And the law was accepted, regardless of the appeal of the Church), but that doesn't really concerns me if I want to believe in God and if I want to go to church, I just can't be married in the church and that's all, and they (if they knew about me) will only look me different and strange, but nothing special. I believe in God on my own way. Of course, the way which is combined with my religion. In few word, I believe that he loves us all (and that's the whole point of Christianity: love, faith and hope) so there is no point of saying what you must and must not do and that God doesn't like "different" people. The Church is abusing the God's will a lot, and I hate that...
OK, this probably isn't answer to your question, but I wanted to explain that my parents are not so influenced with church, they are simply narrow minded and old-fashioned, not strictly conservative, and I KNOW that they will never understand what I'm feeling toward other men...
They are not strict or anything, but I also KNOW that I will break their heart for sure if I come out as a gay or bisexual or whatever.
The other option is to tell them about my sexuality and then move out somewhere, so they will understand why I left and why I don't want to live with them, and they will probably be very ashamed and left with broken heart. I know that they would still love me, but it will be soooo hard for them to accept the fact that I can be attracted to another man sexually. And they are going into 50s (I mean on years, I don't know did I spelled this correct) and 60s, so, who knows, maybe they would get heart attack after telling them this, cause this is would be very big SHOCK for them :(...
I had problems accepting my sexuality cause I was raised by this views, but thank God, they didn't raised me to be narrow minded, so I easily accept it after realising that it's not so 'abnormal'. I came out to myself only two or three years after first sexual attraction toward man, which maybe is long, but I don't feel like that. Now I want to explore others part of these feelings, I never kissed a boy and never had sex with a boy. That's now my goal, to explore homosexuality, to find myself and finally to describe my sexuality, but it's so hard because I live with my parents and the only way I can do this is going somewhere on a holiday and try there, where no one knows me, cause even though my city has millions and millions citizens (and a lot of open gays), it's still 'small', cause I've lived here so long and I'm very social kid and this news (that someone is gay) are spread really fast.
OK, long post... Maybe is not answer to your question, but at least I opened myself to readers and it's all inspired by your question. So, Wayne, thank you one more time for asking... If something is not understood, feel free to ask me something else again :)
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
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