Monday, April 19, 2010

Answers to Questions

8
4/19/2010 04:38:00 PM
Q: Whats your favorite pizza topping? I'm personally a plain old cheese guy :)
A: Pizza topping? Well, I have never thinked about that... We have some topping called beef salad and I usually put that.

Q: 1. What do you wear to bed? 2. Describe your ideal guy in as much detail as possible. 3. Same as #2, except ideal woman instead. 4. Any sexual fantasies? If so, describe them.
A: 1. Pijamas, lol, yeah, I know, but only when it's cold and it's winter. During summer, I sleep in boxers and half naked.

2. He's tall, about my height, I don't like too much short nor too much taller than me. He shouldn't be fat nor feminized, I like muscule guys, not too much, just to be deffined and that I can see his muscles... Sport guy. I would like that he's smart, talkative, outgoing, funny and beautiful. I'm searching for someone to be my support and the guy who will always be there for me, to talk to me, to understand me, to be with me. I have never thought about hair nor eyes colour. But that's not that importrant. If I feel comfortable next to a guy, then that is it :P I hope that you are satisfied.

3. She's shorter than me. Hot. She's not fat. She's beautiful, has full lips, good breasts, a line, meaning, she's attractive. I prefer longer hair and not too much makeup, as natural as possible. I like dark hair more then bright colours. I would like that she's also funny, outgoing, not too shy, talkative. That she understands me and that she's my support and my shelter. I would like to go to the seaside with her and to enjoy life with her. I will give her the same... But, I will repeat same as with boys, if I feel comfortable nexto to a girl, then that is it.

And to be honest, I have never felt comfortable next to a girl, well, at least I realised that when I made out with V. It was better than making out with a girl, even though I didn't do it too many times. Maybe it's like that cause I have some blockade in my head, cause I have „secret“ thoughts about guys and V. knows about it, so I feel more relaxed with him than with a girl.

4. I have already described this... Read my "Perfect Day" fantasy HERE.

Q: What're the top 5 countries (that you haven't already been to) that you'd most want to visit?
A: United Kingdom
Canada
Japan
United States
Holland or Netherlands

And hopefully, I will visit first two in next two years, you will be informed probably. I love to travel and I have travelled a lot. OMG, I would like so much to apply for "The Amazing Race", I love that show, as you probably noticed...

Q: Hmmm, any question eh? Are you uncut or cut? Are most guys where you live uncut/cut? What're your thoughts on it all?
A: I'm uncut and in my country most guys are uncut. And my thoughts about this is that I like uncut guys more. It's more natural and I don't know, I think that it's healthier if you wash yourself regulary, cause when you cut, your head of a penis is exposed and this as the most sensitive part of your body, it can't be that good to be constantly stroken in the pants and stuff. And it's probably easier to masturbate when you are uncut :-)

Q: what type of boys do you like?
A: I have already answer this, look above... I like boys/guys/men who are boy/guy/men, not feminised or guys acting like girls. If you are a man, be a man! I don't have anything against femisied boys, it is your own choice, but my personal taste is like this. I don't like that, I'm not attracted to that...

Q: I love you man. Do you have a lot of gay friends? How do you know them in your country?
A: I don't have any gay friends (meaning close friends) in my real life (or maybe I have, but I'm not aware that they are gay), cause it's really hard to know them in my country. I met with Ian and I thought that we will stay friends. We chat from time to time, but we didn't see each other in ages. I have few online friends, who I met throught this blog. That's all! And the only way how you can get to know someone gay is through dating site or if you are openly gay, which I'm not, and I don't act like gay, I don't go out at gay clubs and stuff like that. It's really hard. I would like to have someone to share my thoughts and just to talk. That's also one of the reasons why I started with this blog.

Q: i love you.
A: :$ :$ :$ :$

Q: Do you any interest exept sex?
A: Okay, to be honest, I didn't understand question. If it is "Do you have any interest except sex?" the answer is „yes, of course!“... I'm searching for everything considering relationship (dating, going out, hanging out, talking etc.), and I have million hobbies... I'm planning to finish school and to find my job and to live life. :-)

Q: Have you always had the certainty of your sexal orientation?
A: No... I had some suspisions when I was about 13, 14 but as I said million times before, I felt really uncomfortable and really unnormal, cause I'm raised in conservative society. I accepted my sexuality and the possability of having sexual orientation other than heterosexual when I turned 17. From that until now, a lot have happened and I consider now myself NORMAL... And I decided that I won't label myself. So, I'm "different" from the major part of our society, I like both men and women. Maybe I'm gay or bi, but for now, I won't label myself, until I fully discover myself...

Thanks all... Thank you so much for asking these questions... And sorry if I'm bit late with the answers, that's why I'm publishig all the answers in one single post.

Feel free to ask me more... This is nice way to comunicate with my readers. (Ask me Anything)

Be safe and take care,
B.

8 comments:

Friday, April 16, 2010

Butteflies

3
4/16/2010 10:21:00 PM
I didn't see him whole day, cause he had to be at some birthday and I was busy whole day, but I felt butterflies whole day in my tummy while thinking about him and the previous day... I almost forgot how this feeling is so freaking amazing. :))) We are texting each other a lot and we talked on the phone... We will meet tomorrow again and he told me that he would like to see me, but he can't get out of the party, cause the girl who is celebrating birthday is his good friend, even though we were planning and texting about seeing each other for at least half an hour. And I want to see him so bad...

Here's one picture for you, this one reminds me of yesterday... Yeah, we were in similar position yesterday, well, almost the same position, omg :)))))...


And I'm listening to 3 Doors Down the whole day, so here's one song which I really like...
P.S. Now I saw video, it's bit creepy, cause I didn't have that in my mind, but listen to the words, I really like them:

Lately i'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's ok, but tell me
Please, would you one time
Just let me be myself
So i can shine with my own light
Let me be myself
Would you let me be myself

That's all I've ever wanted from this world
Is to let me be me


3 comments:

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I Kissed A Boy...

5
4/15/2010 11:49:00 PM
... AND I LIKED IT!!!

I'm still under shock. A lot had happened, and I still need to process everything which happened today... I just come back into my house and I'm still in shock... :)

It didn't happen on cinema date, and yeah, it's obvious, it's V. OK I will tell you everything shortly, well, shortly as I can, and sorry cause there is no pictures, I really can't put them now, I'm so excited :-)...

We went to the cinema two days ago, and the movie wasn't that good. I, as Greek mythology geek, didn't like it... We were watching "Clash of the Titans". I expected more, honestly. It was okay and effects were amazing, but still, it wasn't that good, and to be honest I was next to him and I was thinking of doing something and I was waiting in the same moment that he do something. But nothing happened, well, we were "different" guys in the full cinema, so nothing could happen expect some touch and that kind of things... So nothing happened that day and later when we went back home, we had some flirty texting and messages, and it really was good. Tomorrow (yesterday), we didn't saw each other but we were texting each other, and cause I'm this week home alone from 12 PM until 4 PM (cause my parents were working this week in different times and I was alone for about 4 hours, father works from 1PM until 8PM and mom from 8AM until 3PM), and it was somewhere about 3:30 PM and I told him as a joke to come fast, we have 30 minutes left :) (cause my mom returns somewhere around 4 PM), but it was only joke... And then, I really invited him to come tomorrow (well, it wasn't that direct, but I really can't explain how it happened, but this is the point), which is today. Then, I had some drinking party with my best friends in the evening, but that part isn't that important, things went out of control and the evening ended around 3 AM, and I didn't drink that much, which was good, cause I get fully sober in the morning and I was ready for arrival of V.

He came exactly around 12 PM, shortly after my dad went out of house. V. was in my house and we were talking and talking and talking and then we came to some awkward part with some flirting and I was kinda really, well, not confused, but I felt kinda weird, cause I knew it that we are going to kiss each other, but I'm the one who never knows when is THE moment, you know, but he was like: "Let's do it now!" and we simply come closer to each other and kissed on my couch, in my own living room. At first, it was weird, but it felt so GOOD! And then we were coddling and he was making fun of me, cause my heart was beating like crazy, cause I was really excited and maybe scared and feeling weird. But I WASN'T confused!!! I wanted this, I wanted to kiss him, and I wanted to coddle with him... And I don't know exactly how much time have passed, but, I didn't care, and I know that it wasn't too long, cause shortly after that we went to my room...

Later, we went to my room, on my OWN bed and we were making out! It was so hot! He was so hot! He was so relaxed! He throw me on the bed and lay down on me and kissed me. And that felt even better than AMAZING! I don't know how to say it, but you'll get the point. He was really gentle and slow, cause he knew that it was my first time kissing some man. It was really weird at the beginning but I get used to it really fast and relaxed. We took our shirts off and we were making out half naked...

Then, somewhere around 3 PM we finished, dressed ourselves and went out of the house, cause I was meeting with some girl friend around 6 PM... And then the stuffs went back to normal... We were "just" friends on the street. No one could tell that we were kissing each other only 5 minutes ago. And I was bit scared because of the neighbours, because of the windows, but I didn't care later. I decided that I won't be paranoid...

We went to the city, downtown and we were hanging out in some cafe, he was making me company, while I was waiting a friend to finish with classes. He was so sweet and tired, cause he was studying a lot last night and he woke up early to come at my place. He was so cute. We were eating and drinking and later we separated, by hand shake, a bit longer then usual and with some endearment :-)

And I met my friend, and she was talking and talking and talking, cause she's really talkative and we didn't see each other in very long time, but I didn't listen to her so carefully... I was somewhere else! In the clouds...

I went back home, and while traveling, I wrote a message to Alex (and remember, V. knows that I had some conversation with Alex) and I told him honestly that SOMETHING happened and that I will probably continue with that and that I will see him (if I see him) only as friends, without expectations and false hope, and that I'm only doing this because I promised him, and he was like: "You are doing this only if you wish this, not for me" and we decided that we won't meet tomorrow, and he later told me that I'm okay and nice and he really appreciate that I told him honestly this and I really wanted to be honest, cause I don't want to fool around, when I'm now in the beginning of a relationship (I think :P I didn't talk about that part with V.), but Alex was okay with it and then I told V. that I "don't have a date" with Alex... and now.... I'm writing this post and talking on the phone with May :-)

Interesting day, no doubt that... Am I in dream? And to be honest one more time, this day was better then any fantasy I have ever had... He's perfect! We were doing all the stuffs I and he liked, with all that hugging and kissing nipples and with poses and cuddling and ... I'm still really excited... :)))))) and happy!

He just wished me good night :-)... And it's really late and I need to go... OMG!

5 comments:

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

My Spring Break and Date With V.

6
4/13/2010 02:47:00 PM
I come back from my trip yesterday. It was amazing, even though I was with a girl who I know only for 6 months... But she was really good company and we really become close friends after this trip.

Nothing special happened, I wasn't that much alone and I didn't wanted to try anything with some guy, cause she doesn't know about me. But I felt free and I was able to watch other guys directly in the eyes without a fear and I was surprised how many views I got in return... The country is really gay-friendly and the guys are really hot :-) If I were with May or alone, definitely something would happen. I just remembered when the friend was buying the toothbrush in the store, and the guy who was working there and I think that he was gay, meaning he was dressed and he's bit a metrosexual. I mean, he wasn't feminine (feminized or whatever it's spelled) or anything (and just for the record, I don't like that feminine acting and that kind of stuff), but I simply felt that he's gay, so I think that my gaydar or whatever it's called isn't that bad :-). He looked at me and I was looking at him and we felt the vibe and it was amazing feeling :)))) We both smiled at each other and my friend didn't notice anything, she was all into the toothbrush and stuff she forgot to bring :P He was really good looking and I even thought few times to go back to that store :)

One time while I was alone, I even walked down the street toward gay village, but it was really late and I didn't have buses and metro later to come back to the hotel and the city is not that safe during the night, so I needed to go... But I noticed two hot guys sitting on the bench near that village in some small park and they were talking and watching each other with love, and they were really close and it really looked like flirting and a date, it was really romantic atmosphere all around and if I had a camera (OMG, I need professional camera really soon :'(, I want to start with photography) I would capture that amazing moment, but my normal (crappy) camera was in the hotel, so I couldn't even capture some crappy picture and I didn't wanted to pull out my mobile phone, cause it will be weird taking the picture, it would be really obvious, while with camera you can do some voyeur pictures easily. I was alone with them in that park, so I enjoyed the moment while I was passing by and I went to the next bus station.

Next time, I'm going straight into the village and you will see amazing pictures... :-)


So, nothing special happened, the guy from that country who I met online at THE dating site ditched me cause he is in a relationship and he didn't wanted to go for a coffee. I understand, so my potential holiday date failed... But I didn't care, I mean, I understood him and I just enjoyed my relaxing time with a friend and to be honest, I didn't want to try anything there cause you know, three guys were waiting me in my city. I even wanted to meet up with this guy only as a friends, and that's all, I didn't expected anything, I like making new friends. But nothing happened, who knows why is this good. There is a reason for everything.


BUT, the most amazing thing happened when I come back. I went on a date with V.... YEAH! I know that it's all of a sudden, and it really happened fast, but I will explain it to you. After coming back from a trip, I laid down to rest after exhaustion from the travel and while I was on my trip I was all the time in a contact with V., we were texting each other a lot and it really was good. So when I woke up, somewhere in the afternoon, we were chatting on the MSN and he needed to go out with some friend to the downtown. And then all of a sudden, he asked me what will I do that night, yesterday, and I was like: "Nothing" and he simply asked if I want to come to the downtown, and we met each other in the center after his coffee with a friend and it was AMAZING! He looks even better than on a picture and he's hot and well built (he goes to the gym) and he's really outgoing. I loved that! I'm also very outgoing and we really "clicked"... We are really alike and we talked like 2 hours and it felt like it passed only 5 minutes, it wasn't boring at all, I lost the sense of time. He's so intelligent and talkative and cute. Has a wonderful smile and you know, I already told you, his sexy voice, lol. I really liked him and I think that he liked me, too. Later, after a date and coming back home, we talked again on MSN and he told me that I look even better in person than on pictures, and that's really nice comment, cause I know that I'm not photogenic person which means that if someone liked me on the pictures, he/she will like me even more in the person... I hate to be photographed, but I love photography and taking pictures :)


And I really felt the vibe from him, we were kinda flirting and stuff, and then all of a sudden in a middle of a talk about movies he told me if I want to go to a cinema sometimes, and I was like "of course" and later he told me that he wanted to watch the movie as soon as it comes out in theaters cause he's also Greek mythology freak as me, and then he asked me: "How about tomorrow?" (which is today) and I was like "OMG" and I accepted, I want to see him so bad again, and after a date he was really talking a lot about second date and "the next time" and stuff like that. That's why I think that he liked me. So, I'm going to meet him in about 2 hours, we will take a walk in the city and later we are going to watch "Clash of the Titans"... Can't wait!!! Wish me luck, who knows what will happen in the dark... Kidding, we are taking it slow ;)...

6 comments:

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Spring Break Trip

9
4/04/2010 04:43:00 PM
This will also be a quickie, I just want to inform you that from tomorrow I will be on my holiday/trip for seven days for Spring Break.

I'm traveling outside my country with only one friend, and SHE doesn't know about my sexuality. It will be very awkward cause we are both in the same room, and we know each other for like 6 months, which is not that much. And she's really hot, but I will try to control myself, hahaha, kidding. A lot of other people wanted to go, but they bailed us slowly because of their obligations, someone has late exams, someone has problems with passport and so on, and in the end, that left us with only me and this girl friend.

I'm going to a very beautiful and VERY old city with great history and culture, that's all what I'm saying... :-)


If I get a chance to be myself for some time, I will try to go to some gay club, cause this country is gay-friendly, they even have gay village, and it's very near our hotel :-)

Also, I will try to figure out what I will do with those three guys from previous post, I really need a break, and this trip will be awesome for that, but as far as I'm concerned, the best choice is V. guy (like Ethan said... Thanks, mate, for advice and sharing this opinion, I also feel that way :D, but still I feel some affection with Alex and with Mike, too... Mike is totally confused, but still really good and caring, I can see that)... Yesterday, I talked with Alex a bit, and I clearly told him that I have problem with his age (I didn't mention the looks cause I don't want to have definite opinion about that before meeting him in person, maybe that boldness looks good on him)... So, we are going to have a date on 13th of April, only one day after I'm back from my trip. And I forgot to say, and I noticed in your comments that it's a big deal. He's not OUT, he doesn't even have gay friends, and no one knows about him. When I think that way, I come out to May that I'm "different" and I met Ian, who become a friend of mine, so basically, I'm even more "out" than him. V. and Mike are not out of the closet, too. And I like that, we are really same, everyone here is.

Okay, I'm going to finish with my packing... I will have Internet access there, I won't bring my laptop, we have free Internet cafe in the hotel, but I don't know will I blog from there, or I will, but the posts will be short and fast, cause of the friend, I don't want to leave her too long alone. And I will blog if anything interesting for this blog happens :D

Take care, and big hug for you all! (wow, I'm such a gay lol)
B.

9 comments:

Friday, April 2, 2010

The Dating Problems And Again Simone

6
4/02/2010 11:57:00 PM
:) I'm back, and I'm finally on holiday (for Easter and for Spring Break)... I'm free until 25th of April and I will use this holiday to travel, study (catch up with my subjects) and to enjoy my time with some guy, probably.


As you all know, I hang around on some dating site a lot, which is kinda bad and disgusting sometimes, but what can I do... I don't have any other way to find someone, I mean gay/bi person... I will explain you the "system" of this site.

You have the profile with some information of you... If you want to be "ranked" higher, you need to put some picture... I have some partly nude photo of my torso. Then you find someone by selecting criteria, and that's basically all. And there is even a age limit, but that no one reads there. You got a message from 30 and 40 year-olds and that's kinda too sick, and their offers are really disgusting... I don't even have words to describe how I feel about that, but I kinda expected that... But with time you get used to that and you simply write down: 'Not interested' or 'No' and everything is fine.
Generally speaking, everyone there from my country is looking for "non-fem", "normal", "interesting" persons, even though the one who are looking for that are for example fem. What an irony!
Then because messaging system is kinda slow, but still very nicely done, everyone is asking for MSN, to chat more instant... And yeah, you need to make fake one :P lol
Then after "meeting" online you start chatting and usually they are asking for face picture to see how you look, or a webcam talk. I usually try to avoid this kinda of talk and sending pictures (or putting them as a avatar) until I get some impression about someone. There is a lot of fake profile and people using others pictures as theirs, so I'm kinda afraid that someone will recognise me or even steal my picture, so I wait as long as nessessery before showing the picture to someone.
And for example, if they ask you a question: "How big is your dick?" or "Do you life alone?" and stuff like that after two or three minutes, you need to block that person immediately :-). At least, I do that, cause those people are only looking for quick sex. And the 90% of that site is like that :-(

BUT... and this 'but' is a good 'but'... There is a little group of people like me, I mean unexperienced, searching for something good, normal, romantic, honest and beautiful. And even though I had profile for almost 2 years now, I have never tried to try anything (meaning on meeting in person and having some kind of experience) until I met Ian and you all know how that date passed.
But recently, I've been meeting a lot of NORMAL and nice people, which is kinda good (there is still hope that gay world in my country are not that screwed). I can talk now more freely (without paranoia and fear) with them... See, I'm even more talkative here, also :-)
And then I met three persons who tickled my imagination and my heart, because I think that I have found what I was looking for, but the main problem is which one of these three are the one for me. Now I feel like some slut. Teasing them and choosing like they are some toys :-( you will see, it's not that bad, I think. And I would like to hear your opinion about all this.


The first one is Alex. He's 25 years old (which is kinda too much for me for now), but he's so good and so smooth talker that basically he got me, meaning I like him. The way he talks with me is amazing. He's so out going and so nice. When I talk to him I feel kinda nice and it's amazing feeling. He wishes me good mornings and good nights and I can't get bored with him. We are doing a lot of flirt over the phone. The only problem beside his age is that he's bit bold, not entirely, just his hair is not that "bushy". He has problem with his hair. I saw him on the pictures and on the camera, and to be honest I didn't like him physically but I liked him psychically so I'm eager to give him another chance at our date when we are going to meet in person and that will be somewhere after 12th of April. Lol, and I don't even know his real name, I only know the first letter, which is A. He told me that he want to save that for meeting in person, he's so sweet. And one other guy, who was one short time "active" about all this dating stuff, told me that he met Alex in person and that he didn't like him cause he's too short and too bold and too pushy, so he ditched him. But I won't let that his opinion blind me with my impression of Alex (that much), I will just be careful and that's all. Nothing will happen without my permission, even Alex told me that. And a few times, I get paranoid that he's telling this stuff to every single guy who is his maybe future boyfriend, he's older and more experienced then me. I don't know, he can't be that bad. We'll see...


The second guy will be called V. I also don't know his name, not even the first letter. He sent me a message a bit after Alex and I clearly said to him that I'm in process of talking with some guy and I'm only available for "hanging around as friends" meaning, I would like to talk and that kind of stuff, nothing beside, cause I'm almost "in a relationship". And he was cool with that cause I seemed normal to him, so we exchanged MSNs and started to chat. Later, I told him about Alex and he told me that he met him in person, but he didn't want to reveal any other information about him beside the fact that he's so sweet and the best person he met in this gay-world (meaning the sphere of people who are gay and are living in my country and having profile on THE site). But the only problem he had with him was his age and of course boldness. But didn't wanted to reveal anything else. We exchanged the phone numbers and we are still talking, he's now away during Spring Break at hometown where he doesn't have Internet, so we are basically texting each other. And he's so PERFECT for now. And after talking to him, I get totally confused about everything what happened with Alex. The V. guy told me, for example, about his fantasies when you hug someone in a bed and fall asleep like that and woke up like that. And that's my favourite part of fantasy and I even get hard when I think about that, honestly said, if you read the story, you'd probably noticed that. And he's also horny as me, and we like same things and same things turn us both :P lol And we are very alike, he also come out to his best friend (girl friend) and she's also conservative and tries to turn him back like May does with me. I didn't even saw his face picture, I just know that he's nicely built and has sexy voice :) (yeah, we talked for some short time over the phone)... And now (meaning in this moment after publishing this long post), I need to wait until my parents are gone to bed so he can call me again, and now it will be longer. And he's one year older then me and he calls me "kiddo" which is kinda sweet. And he's such a romantic, which is also one plus.


The third one will be called Mike. He's one year older then me and he's so freaking CUTE. We talked a lot and saw each other on cam. He's bit egocentric, and he has good reasons to be like that, but he can be sweet and I'm starting slowly to get to his other side. He even told me about his sexual experience with his best male friend and how that affected their friendship. It's really sad and so UNBELIEVABLE story, and really stupid one (I mean, they act stupid, keep reading and you will see), cause they both are afraid of how that will look like and how will that affect the people in their environment which is kinda sad, cause they would have something special. They know each other for 14 years, and everything started with some kiss (real kiss, tongue included) at some party while Mike's best friend was drunk, later they did oral to each other while Mike's friend was at sleepover at Mike's house. Mike is a bit macho type of guy, but he only tries to act like that, for example, he is romantic and sweet, but kinda holds that part inside, cause he's afraid that people will see his really side and that he will get hurt sometime. Something like me a bit hehe. That's why he didn't wanted to try to talk more seriously with his friend and his friend, well, I didn't hear his version of the story, but they kinda led their friendship to destruction because of that, so now they barely talk, even though they were inseparable before "the event". They were best friends, Mike's mom was mom to his friend and that goes in oposite direction. They were like brothers, but now, their friendship is slowly turning down. Mike was really broken, he even moved from country for some short time, in the process of "getting over"... It's all because you can't act freely as a gay around here. And because of this event and with everything that happened, Mike kinda became cold person. He was hurt a lot, and now he's acting like some macho guy, which is also one sad part. He's pushing people away from him, and including me, you will see why... keep reading.

Now let's go back to our (Mike's and mine) relationship or friendship :-P. We are even having a bit of flirt and yesterday he even did some striptease for me as a joke, but somehow I got the feeling that I'm boring to him and that I chase him, he's not that interested in me. He's still in process of "getting over" with his best friend, or at least I get that feeling. Don't know! We'll see, like I said he's cold and pushing me away from him, maybe unconsciously cause he was so hurt and doesn't want that to happen again. I will try to talk to him about this subject, maybe even tonight if he's online at MSN...

OK, so now you know why I feel like slut. I'm kinda teasing all three, but not entirely, the V. guy knows that I will see Alex and he's still insisting in conversation, like he knows that I will get disappointed with Alex, and Mike is kinda "cold" but still sweet, so even if something happens with him, it won't be any time soon.


For now, I will see Alex, I owe him that much, he will get his third chance and if I don't like him, I will go for V. guy and see how he looks like in person and if that goes wrong, there is Mike, LOL. OMG, am I that mean? All I know is that the moment of me having my first boyfriend is coming very soon. Am I egocentric? Now I feel so like someone who is using people and it's not good feeling. I need to stop, that's why I erased the profile at that site. And I need to figure this out and choose the one who is really for me... I'm so confused, but this time not sexually :-) And doing all this flirting and chatting with boys feels kinda even better then with girls, cause I always feels that I'm lying girls when I flirt with them.

And something else is happening. The feelings toward Simone is starting to returning back. And I don't like that. Recently, we are meeting each other more then previous year and I don't think that I'm that over her. And we started to talk a bit about our "past" over the Facebook today which also tickled my imagination.

Man, I'm so fucked up!!! I need a break...

Ok, that's all for now. Sorry if I'm being too boring and good news is that I will start reading all the blogs I didn't read in quite some time... So blogosphere, I'm coming back, at least for the April!

See ya and thanks for reading!
Tomorrow, I will publish another HUGE post with ALL the answers to your question... Thanks one more time for asking. I hope that everything is going well with you, my readers...

OK, see ya, now for the last time, I need to send a message to V. so he can call me :))) I will hear his sexy voice one more time, awww.

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