Monday, January 17, 2011

Ask me Anything (from June 2010 till January 2011)

1/17/2011 08:33:00 AM
Okay, this will be one long post, so get prepared, cause I will answer first 10 questions I didn't when they are originally published. Here we go... :)

Also, before the questions, I would really like your comments and opinions about my coming out to my parents, so please take your time and read my post published today, it is really important for me. Thanks in advance... My coming out post is here...

1. Could you describe yourself(I mean if you're fit or not,how tall' are you etc)] [if not i get it,'cause i know that you don't wanna say who are you and where are you from, it's priv informations] (8 months ago)

I will answer this no matter what… I’m quite tall, I have already said that, 187 cm or 6 feet and two inches, I think at least, I don’t use that, I just tried to convert that for you guys. And after going back to University, a lot of people told me that I grew up, so it’s maybe even more, I didn’t measure myself for a long time. I’m very fit and a lot of people say that I have perfect shape and body proportions. I started to work out regularly at home with some professional program cause I want to get some weight and to be more muscular, but I stopped when all this with Mike and parents happened, I just have too much on my mind to worry about getting muscular and stuff. And I even started to train something very interesting, the hip-hop, but later I stopped… Well, me and Mike started going there together, he made me to go there, and I made him start that, because he had something to make him feel better, and he loves to dance, and he’s really good at that. Also, for example Mike used to tell me a lot that I look like some model and that I need to try something in that direction, so who knows, maybe one day. Hehe, who knows?

2. Are you gay or still bi if you care ab that? (8 months ago)

To be honest, I don’t care about that at all. I don’t wanna label myself, and if you really would like to know, I’m gay. I’m comfortable with myself being gay and that’s all. Maybe it will happen that I fall in love with some woman, but for now, I know that I’m attracted by men and it will stay that way until I tell you it’s different. But I won’t pay too much attention on labels, I will live my life whatever I want, if it happens that I someday turn back to straight or bi, I don’t care, it happened, and I won’t regret any second of my gay life. I’m what I am, I’m happy now and finally I feel free and fulfilled and I’m so happy because of that. I’m proud of myself and that is the most important of everything. I have left my psychical struggle behind me and I feel for the first time in my life totally relaxed and happy (but only when it comes to my confusion, the other part of me is so sad because of everything which happened to me because of being the way I am)… But I don’t care, life is hard… or life’s a bitch, and then you die :)

3. What's a bad experience you've had with a health care worker (e.g. nurse, doctor, etc)? (6 months ago)

Hahahahahaah, this is so funny question, cause I only can think on one situation and it’s only my fault and no one’s else. I got drunk with D. and I was really excited cause I met him (that was the night when I met him even thought I fell in love long before that)… So that night D. and me got REALLY REALLY drunk and we ended up in hospital and doctor and nurse thought that I was drugged or something so they wanted to give me some operation, and they prepared me for that, so they stick some little thingy down my penis, I don’t know how to say it in English, but the use is to drain my piss down that little thingy into one bag while I’m on operation. That PAIN was the worst pain I have ever felt and I woke up and came round instantly and I was yelling: “Take that out of me. I want to go to bathroom”… Even though I was totally drunk and totally at the edge of life, I felt that PAIN and it brought me back. Later, my parents even told me that I was on reanimation, which I really can’t believe… But that experience was really strange and totally different from anything I have ever felt… Like I was alive, but I was floating somewhere between… Conscious, but still unconscious… Alive, but maybe on the edge… For one moment, I could even see my body and I everything was foggy and like behind some glass. My conscious mind was still there, but it was only a small amount of my consciousness. Strange feeling. I will remember that day until the rest of my life. Sometimes I even call it my second birthday just for a joke. My friends are also making a lot of jokes on that account, cause they know the whole story with the little thingy… Also, don’t think that I’m crazy when I say the stuff about being floating around. I just felt that way and maybe my mind played tricks on me after the whole incident, in order to retell what happened that night. I don’t remember much of the evening, but I just know that I ended on the bed next to D. in the hospital and that mine and his parents met. And from that day and on we were friends and “brothers by rum”. We were drinking rum. Aek, hope you are satisfied with your answer ;)

4. What is the status of your education? Are you going to university and if so will that take you away from Mike? (6 months ago)

This question was asked when I was in relationship with Mike, and to tell you the truth, it wouldn’t take me away from Mike, and Mike was the person who was forcing me to study a lot. He was my support and helped me a lot in that way. But later our relationship ended and to be honest I neglected my education for some short time, but I made my marks better later, and I’m okay now. I was emotionally stressed, and with everything happened, it is only normal for me to be like that.

5. Ask ab anything,hmm.... 1)Where do you want to move out?i mean ab country-'cause you mentioned it in your last post. 2) I guess that you live in Europe, but you dont live in Poland, do you? 3)Are you thinking ab having kids?of course in the future.

1) Dunno, my dream country is of course United States (NYC) as I mentioned before somewhere on my blog or somewhere in Europe, maybe France or Netherlands or even Sweden. Also, I adore Japan, so, who knows. We’ll see what life holds for me.

2) Yes, I will tell the big secret, I am from Europe and no I do not live in Poland.

3) Kids, that’s big deal and big questions for gays. To be honest I would like to have kids, but currently, I’m not feeling like having kids. Maybe that will change with time, I’m still young and I want to enjoy life. Later I will think about kids and having family of my own.

6. I keep asking... 4) For your last experience(making love) you should know what do you prefer :being top, bottom or maybe it's doesnt matter? 5)What do you study? Thx for reply ;] (6 months ago)

4) I’m that called veritable or whatever it is called or spelled, but I enjoyed being top more. I tried top more and I enjoyed it more, as for me I’m more top… Hope you are satisfied.

5) I can’t tell you what I’m studying cause it’s very specific, it has something to do with arts and that’s all what I can tell you. It can be interesting, it is also very useful and if you like it, very exciting. But if you are really interested in me and what I'm studying, please send me an email and we can talk. It's more private and I'm getting to know one more person, and that's also one of the things this blog is made for. Thanks for asking

7. Hey,Is everything ok? I guess that you finished your blog,did you? Anyway Take care ;) (2 months ago) (2 months ago)

Everything was okay and I didn’t finish my blog, I will never finish it, I will blog it until something happen to me, don’t worry, I just wasn’t inspired to write and a lot had happened and then I was to emotional to write and it is very hard for me to write in English, but I'm really getting used to that, I learned a lot and I'm still learning and I'm getting more and more relaxed with both English and my honesty. But now I’m back and everything will be much more better because I love writing and I love blogging… Thanks for caring… Love you all.

8. In one of your posts, you said you kinda didnt like one of the guy from dating website cause he was 'too bold'. I dont understand why that would be a problem. and secondly you dont seem to like 'feminine gays' , dont you think thats too judgemental ofyou?

Why is that judgmental? I’m just having my type of guy. I personally don’t like feminine gays and I’m not attracted by them even though I’m gay, and I don’t have anything against them. I met few and some of them are nice person. I judge persons only if they are ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and that’s all. Also, I was chatting with that bold guy and he lied to me that he’s bold, and I wasn’t attracted to him, so maybe you got me wrong, we even talked after that a lot, until we lost touch because I told him I’m not for a relationship with him, that’s all. So why I’m being judgmental, I just have my opinion and my type of a man.

9. A few questions down you said about a site an some creepy people talking of wanking an stuff? Man, It only takes a piece of dust to fall on you for others to call you more than just gay. I mean no harm. Im a gay kid too, Q: Why judge others. Stones-Stick (3 weeks ago)

To be honest, I didn’t understand this question completely and personally, I’m not into wanking and stuff over webcam on that kind of sites. I’m more of having relationship with some guy, enjoying wanking together when you have some feelings toward him and “making love” not “having sex” – if you understand me. I don’t have anything against these people, but I also have opinion and I call them “creepy” because it creped me when I first was offered that. I didn’t mean anything bad, I just expressed how I felt in that moment. Now I’m used to it and I simply say: “Not interested” and we both move on. I said also creepy people because I clearly said on my profile that I don’t want that, and they still offered it, dunno why. And I hate when people doesn’t read the profile. I’m not that kind of person and I’m not into quick stuff, I'm simply creepy and weird on my own way… Hope I answered your question. Thanks for asking. :)

10. Where are you from? (one week ago)

I already said in this post that I’m from Europe and that’s all what you will know until I decide opposite. Thanks for asking :) And if you wish to know really where I'm from, e-mail me and if I decide to tell you, you will know, I first would like to get to know you, and I don't wanna repeat myself, I already mentioned this in the question about my studies...

That's all for now, thanks for asking and thanks for reading... I hope you are all satisfied. Now I'm gone to study a little and to eat something, it's morning, beautiful morning...

P.S. Next group of questions will be answered soon (I really hope so :P)
P.P.S. Also, feel free to ask me anything else HERE.

About the author

Secret Blogger is writing about his life, living as a gay guy in a homophobic society.

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