Coming out to my friends and first visit(s) to gay club2
Long title, and I think it will be long post...
Okay, now, let's get back to the gay club going out.
Also, after that night, we decided to go out to another gay club in the city, that first one which was closed, which was my idea, because I heard a nice stories about that place and U. told me lot of nice compliments about that place. We (George and I) went there on 7th of October and I drank a lot, because I got scared. David, Lucy, Lucy's girl friend (she's bisexual), David's girlfriend (Cathrin, my colleague from University), Joanna, and their friend were our company.
After that okayish first experience, we went one more time there, it was all of a sudden, and it was better than the first and second time, but the third time was amazing! It was huge party with about 300-400 participants, and I wrote a post before going there. That night I met U. (I knew that he will come, because he loves Lady Gaga) and I talked with him for some short time, I was also bit drunk, but not like the first time, and we were okay, I introduced him to George and Joanna and he met me with a friend of his and showed me others, who I knew from the story while we were together. I was really glad that I saw him and to see he is okay. Then I continued to go around the club and I met the most unexpected person there - it was V.
Remember him? A guy who is "kinda" my first boyfriend, small relationship of two weeks I had when I started coming out to the world. It was nice meeting him, we talked, and I also was glad because I saw him. After that I met my neighbour, a kid (okay, for me he's a kid), and a girl who also lives in my neighbourhood, and she works there as a waiter, but I already met her the first night, so it wasn't a surprise. Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that I met a second year colleague of my department the first night I went to the club, he always was obviously gay (style, behavior etc.) and we never spoke before that night, and after finding out about each other (officially) we became good friends, and we even have some classes together, so slowly, more and more people at my department knows about me, but I don't care. I told Cathrin, Joanna and one another girl (that was an accident), then this colleague find out when he saw me in the club, now his friend, who is also nice, knows... And so on, I won't bore you with this, I just wanted to mention him, because he's now a part of my life, a new gay friend :)
As the night progressed, I ended up with V. on the dance floor, and we kissed after some dancing (again), (btw that was my first time that I danced with a guy in some club or whatever), and now I was the initiator. I don't know was it alcohol, or the wish to forget U. while he was there, or desire to just kiss with someone, or not to be alone, but it was nice and okay experience. Later he asked me if I want to go to his place, and cleverly I accepted.
Nothing serious happened, to be honest I went with him because he proposed like (I quote) "We don't need to do anything if you don't want to, but it's nice to have someone close to you, so you don't sleep alone" and I wanted to see his intentions, to see how much I really knew him and how much did he change and how much will I resist the temptation. I realised that I won't do anything with him shortly after going from club, it was just kissing and a bj, and V. literally begged me to have sex, and I refused, because it didn't fell right, and he was very persistent, and I didn't like that, too. He was so turned on, and desperate so he after telling me to be a bottom (playing the role of a macho-man), said that he'll be a bottom, because he desperately was looking for sex. And later he'll do me, so it will be "equal".
It was weird, I wasn't really "okay" with the proposal and I clearly said "no", which clearly pissed him off (because all that smooth talk was to make me go to bed and I knew that) and I saw his intentions right away but I wanted to see how far will he go, and I stayed to my principals (even though I was way too drunk after) and clearly said "No!". He just jerked off, cleaned himself up, turned away to other side and try to fall asleep... Later he turned back, hugged me and we fall asleep together. In some awkward way, it was cute and sweet :)
When we woke up, around 8 AM, I just went outside, we kissed each other on the door lightly and even though he said that he would like to stay in contact with me after that night (we lost touch a long time ago, he changed the number, I deleted him from FB and so on), he didn't even send a message or anything, and I didn't hear from him since. And to be honest, I don't want to.
And I was glad because I was a tough bitch and I stayed to my principals and didn't let him use me, because I would have felt used after that night if something had happened. I returned home with grin on my face... And I realized V. is not a guy for me and I'm glad nothing beside that from above happened between us. It was something like karma, because of our past and him leaving a wound on my heart (okay, this sounded sooo pathethic :P) I didn't like him one bit, he showed me his real face, but I was glad to see he's okay.
Thanks for reading...